sooo drained- 3 days overdue

The heat that we have had yesterday and today is not helpful at all. i constantly feel like showering just to cool off. Different parts of the house are hotter than others, sadly i cant lay in bed with my husband because its like a sauna in there. So im up late, frustrated and fat and sweating like a pig.

I dont like how irritated i am lately, but i spose i have an exscuse. I never thought i would say it but i understand what it means to be miserable in pregnancy. The whole 9 months has been great. the last month got a little bit harder, but still managable until now. I feel physically drained, emotionally and spiritually. 

Last week i thought there was a chance at having him, i thought, wow i think i can live with this weight gain. Now, when i look in the mirror im just sad. There is no way i can bounce back from this. its going to be alot of hard work. It seems ive doubled in size in the last week. 

My sweet husband has been working so hard, im so thankful for him. There are lots of struggles ahead that i know he is preparing for and im so lucky to be his wife. I hope someday he is able to relax and enjoy everything he is working for. 

For now, the waiting continues. i keep doing nothing while hubby works away in his office. I wish i had more control over the situation, i wish i could grab everything by the neck and make it all better for us. I feel so useless not working, complaining about being bored all the time does not help at all. ive been trying to keep myself a little busy. couple nights ago, on my due date i had a few girls over for wine and TV time. It was a good time and i really needed it. 

It is so hard to find things to do when your mind and body are so drained. i want to be productive and clean and do housework but i just cant get my mind and body in motion. All the prayers ive prayed will be answered, i have faith. i just have to keep believing that.

p.s. i HATE typing things on a laptop..gRRRrr!