jumbled

Usually when i think about my current circumstance, i make an imaginary “list” of things. For example, whatever is “top priority” i tend to think about most often- or whatever happened most recently tends to consume my thoughts. But, lately everything is sort of blurred. Everything is so important. Everything is so urgent. Everything calls for our attention. 

I’ve never been so humbled in all my life. I’ve never learned so much in all my life, i’ve never experienced such heartache in all my life, i’ve never been this stressed. In spite of it all, though, I’ve never been so drawn to the Lord. I’ve never really completely put my life in his hands. Truly surrendered. 

When you’ve given all you have, and lost all you have you would think that you have no more to give.Yet, Somehow we’ve given more back to God than ever. Somehow even though we have nothing-in the middle of a desert- we are able to GIVE more.

Its amazing to me, that because we’ve lost so much lately.. i feel like we “need” more. That somehow if “this and this” happen that we will be better off. WHO am i to know how i will be “better off”? Im so thankful that i have a husband who leads me back time and time again to focus on the LOrd and what he is doing before our very eyes.

My prayer now is to seek understanding, to seek wisdom, to be able to fully accept where He has brought us and to know where he is guiding us.